The government has its knickers in a twist again because it thinks too many over-50s are skiving off work.

The crime is that they have woken up, smelled the coffee and taken early retirement. Shocking, I know.

But now I have to admit I am also joining those dastardly stay-at-homes. This is my final column as I take what is actually a belated retirement and disappear into the sunset.

It has, of course, been a blast which has been made all the more enjoyable by the motley crew of past and present colleagues and the badinage of readers.

My career got off to a wobbly start with my first review of an am dram production where I may have been a little harsh on the thespians. A missive soon winged its way to the editor with clear and precise instructions on what to do with that "nasty Mr Nurden".

I was also taught how to spell accommodation by a frustrated news editor who finally scrawled the word in indelible pen down the inside of my arm. It took me a week of scrubbing to remove it but by then I knew the word had two 'c's, two 'm's and it went from my elbow to my wrist.

I have also dabbled in the dark arts of PR as an NHS spin-doctor, briefly, and spent a stint trying to convince po-faced national news editors to write about Saturday morning kids' TV.

It was a thankless task but a great opportunity to rub shoulders with the likes of Gaby Roslin, Take That, the Spice Girls and Kylie. I'm saving all those stories for the book.

There have been few things I've refused to do. I've climbed into the ring with Dangerous Danny Lynch the wrestler, played a corpse on stage, created Scurvy Dog the Sea Scribe for the Sheppey Pirates and even became a trainee rock god.

I've tried to keep readers amused with my various escapades including disastrous attempts at DIY in the dungeons of Cobweb Castle on the sun-kissed Isle of Sheppey and relating my dealings with the usually unflappable Mrs Nurden.

Oh, and I'll be staying off Twitter after getting into a spot of bother with BBC TV news presenter Naga Munchetty and her shoes. Best not to Google it...