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Sheerness couple's 60-year romance began with invitation in Yemen

By: Gemma Constable

Published: 06:30, 18 April 2013

Valerie and Frederick Sands celebrate 60 years of marriage with members of their family at DeLacey Hall

A message on a piece of paper led to 60 years of happy marriage for one Sheppey couple.

Frederick Sands, 84, and wife Valerie, 77, met in 1949 while they were both living in the city of Aden in Yemen.

He was a regular soldier in the army and she had moved with her father, who was a refrigeration engineer on the boats transporting meat to and from the port.

Her younger brother Steven was being looked after by Mr Sands after Sunday school and he asked him to pass on a note to her, asking if she would like to join him at the church’s fellowship.

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Mrs Sands said: “I said to my friend I like the look of that young man, I think I’ll take him for a husband.

“She said to me, ‘I think you’ll have to stand in line’, but then of course I did.

“We were soulmates immediately.”

Frederick and Valerie Sands on their wedding day

The St George’s Avenue, Sheerness, couple had their first date on Christmas Eve that year when they went carol singing along the harbour.

Later, they moved back to England together and married in Wainfleet St Mary, Lincolnshire, during Easter weekend in 1953.

When Mr Sands went to France to work as a gardener and caretaker for the War Graves Commission, they spent some time apart.

They have lived on Sheppey since 1960 and have seven children, 18 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren.

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All but five of them attended celebrations for their diamond wedding anniversary at DeLacey Hall, Esplanade Gardens, Sheerness, on Saturday.

Most of their family still live in Swale and Medway although some came from further afield, including the Isle of Wight and Colchester.

Mr Sands, who is a former chairman of the Sheppey branch of The Royal British Legion, claims the secret of a long marriage is to, “hold together”.

He said: “If you have a row, don’t take it to bed with you. Get on with it and it’s no good running back to mother.”

The couple are also known for their work in clubs on the Island for arthritis sufferers.

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