"Thanks for the lift Dad - and thanks for agreeing to look after the chickens" yelled Creature of the Night number two as he disappeared into the bowels of Heathrow Airport en route to Walt Disney World, Florida with his family in tow.

Well, it's what dads do, isn't it? Besides, how difficult could it be to look after three hens?

All you have to do is open the coop in the morning, chuck them some corn, salvage any eggs and then lock them up at night to keep them safe from Mr Fox. Simples.

Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan in our household.

Within hours of me getting home, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) had conspired with the Animal and Plant Health Agency (the what?) to order the return of 'flockdown'. This is like what we all went through with Covid-19 but for the birds.

One of the deadliest diseases for winged creatures is sweeping the world and is back in Britain. Thousands of our birds, well, 190 since last October according to official figures, are dying from Avian influenza. So the government has thrown a bird flu prevention zone over the entire UK.

To be fair, the Creature of the Night had seen this coming and had half prepared for it.

The hens must now live by day beneath the children's trampoline which is now festooned with netting and resembles a sort of Alcatraz of the air.

The chickens do not appreciate this. As far as they are concerned, they have been incarcerated against their will.

These are no cage-bred birds, they have tasted freedom (well, the run of the garden) and are singularly unhappy their daily routine of scratching has been, er, scratched.

I can't believe I have another two weeks of putting up with their clucking and pecking put-downs before I can hand them back. After just a few days they have already eggs-hausted my patience.