“I didn’t want to die, yet I didn’t know how to live,” that’s how Emma* says she felt when her drinking was at its worst.

Aged just 21, food had been replaced by booze and she was pretty much pouring alcohol down her neck 24/7.

“One of the things I would often do, because I didn’t want people to recognise me, was rotate the shops I bought my drink from,” she said.

“So I might go to the petrol station and buy a bottle of wine, then a supermarket and buy a bottle of vodka. I liked to mix my drinks at this stage because you get drunk a lot quicker.

“I could easily drink two big bottles of Strongbow a day and a bottle of wine or a case of beer in a day no problem.”

Of course, she never intended to be an alcoholic. It wasn’t something she planned, it happened gradually, and before she knew it she was dependent on it. Her appearance changed as a result.

She put on weight going from 10st to 17st and her skin was very puffy and red. At one point she was even called ‘Sir’ by a woman working behind a till at a supermarket.

It all started at the age of 19 while she was a student.

“Growing up I suffered with a lot of social anxiety,” she said.

“I was very nervous around people and I didn’t have much confidence and this particularly affected me when I started college. But one of the things students do well is drink.

“So, during the lunch break or after class they would go to the pub and I would join them. By having a glass of wine or cider I felt so much better within myself.

“I had this false sense of confidence and I suddenly started to come out of my shell. My friends would often say to me ‘Why aren’t you always like this?’ and that just gave me all the encouragement I needed.”

When her course finished two years later her alcohol intake reduced, but the problem soon reared its ugly head again when she got a full-time job.

The 29-year-old said: “I was on a three month probation and I found my nerves and my confidence were getting in the way of me fulfilling my potential.

“So one afternoon I went out for lunch and I had a glass of wine and I felt much more comfortable. I thought ‘this is going to help me get through it,’ and that’s what I did for several weeks until the job was mine. I truly believed alcohol was my medicine.”

It didn’t take long though before it went from drinking a small amount every day to calm her nerves to buying two bottles of wine on a Friday night.

“My attitude was ‘I’ve worked hard all week, I’ve got a job, I’ve got a lovely car and home I deserve a nice bottle of wine,’” she said.

“I would drink over the weekend but when it came to Monday I was back to square one so I would drink during the day and I would drink in the evenings. But it started to escalate.

“I would often get a small bottle of brandy and carry it in my handbag and take that to work. In the morning, afternoon or late afternoon I would go to the toilet and have a few swigs from the bottle then go back to my desk.”

By now she had started to isolate herself from family and friends.

“I knew from past experiences I would end up ruining their birthday, a wedding or Christmas so I would remove myself from the situation,” she said.

“I was never aggressive or violent. My life was based on emotions rather than any form of intelligence.

“When I was at work I couldn’t wait to be home to have a drink but when I was at home I felt so lonely because I didn’t have any friends around me so I was desperate to be at work again to interact with people. I just couldn’t live in the moment. I was using it to change the way I felt.”

Drinking to the point of blacking out, paranoia, anxiety, night terrors, nausea, dry-heaving and the shakes were some of the symptoms she suffered.

Her wake-up call finally came at the age of 26 when one of the few friends she had left pointed out she was drink driving to work each morning.

She said: “They said ‘if you hit another car and there’s a family in there - children, someone’s mother, someone’s father - and you killed them could you live with yourself knowing you killed anther person?’

“The penny finally dropped and I thought ‘I’ve got to change’, but even then I thought ‘I’ll have a drink while I figure out the situation’.

“I had a wine and I was sat in the living room when I said out loud ‘I’m an alcoholic’ " - Emma

“I had a wine and I was sat in the living room when I said out loud ‘I’m an alcoholic’.

"It was a relief, but I was scared. It’s not something you say you want to be when you’re older. I had a stereotype in my head of what an alcoholic should be and I didn’t feel I fitted that category, but the symptoms were there.”

Emma has been in recovery since February 2013 thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Remarkably, despite her problems, she remains employed in the same role.

She added: “Now I understand why people refer to alcoholism as a selfish illness.

“I affected people around me where I didn’t show up for birthdays, weddings and Christmas and especially when I was getting on the road. I was just thinking about myself.

“I enjoyed drinking while I was in college, the rest was hell. I never want to go back to that. If it wasn’t for my sobriety and recovery I wouldn’t have friends, family or a job. I might even be dead.”

* Not her real name