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Once married as man and wife, Denise and Kristiana Taylor are planning to renew their vows next month, but this time as a same-sex couple.
In 2012, Kristiana began to transition from male to female, following a lifetime of knowing something wasn’t quite right.
She left school at 16 and spent most of her life in the Royal Navy, serving in the Gulf War, but left in the mid-90s and soon met her future wife.
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The pair, who live in Sittingbourne with their 14-year-old son, Stephen, first met in Newcastle and were married within a year of becoming an item, in 1996.
They renewed their vows in 2012, but just days later Kristiana told Denise she was transgender. Now they plan to do it all again.
Kristiana, a radiographer at Tunbridge Wells hospital in Pembury, said: “We’re renewing our vows on August 17 and we both get to wear the dress this time.
Video: The pair talk about renewing their vows
"It’s a blessing and a celebration of the 60-odd people that are invited, saying thank you for the support as we’re so thankful.
“Something which could have torn us apart, actually brought us together.”
In 2012, three days after they renewed their vows as a man and woman, a bedroom conversation over the wedding dress Denise had worn led Kristiana, 49, to break down in tears and come out, with the pair spending hours talking.
"You're telling yourself it's wrong all the time... you're hiding it and you're terrified your family, friends and loved ones will find out and reject you" - Kristiana Taylor
Denise said the revelation was a relief: “I had my suspicions for quite some time, and every time I’d try to approach the subject we’d have a full-blown argument and she’d storm out.
“For me I thought, her as a man was having an affair or was gay and I kept finding things round the house and didn’t know how to approach it and I was anxious of thinking what was going on.”
“It was a relief more than anything.
“It made me better to know I hadn’t physically been sharing her with someone else but actually someone that was trapped inside and was trying to get out.
“The way I saw it was that the inside’s not changing, and that’s what I married – so the outside didn’t make much difference.”
However, Kristiana does still suffer some discrimination – something they say is borne from stupidity and ignorance.
Denise, a midwife at Medway hospital, added: “We just come and go like anyone else. We’re living our own lives.
“We’re just a normal family, and normal is as normal as you make it.”
The ceremony will take place at Judd’s Folly Hotel in Ospringe.
Kristiana knew she was different when she was eight years old, but didn’t know why.
“All I knew was that I felt comfortable wearing feminine clothing, there was a sense of attachment,” she said.
“But as a boy I felt the opposite of what I felt as a women.
“As I became older, these wants became more and more.
“Joining the Navy was a way of escaping it.
“You’re telling yourself it’s wrong all the time and you have coping mechanisms because you’re hiding it and you’re terrified your family, your friends and your loved ones will find out and reject you.”
When she left the forces, she kept dressing as a woman in secret and wife Denise had no idea.
Kristiana said: “That went on for some years and then the feelings got more intense and it got to a stage where I started getting careless, as if I wanted to get caught.
“I left an earring out and she came in and asked me what it was doing there so I blamed it on my son, but he was only tiny at the time.
“The lead-up to what I’d call 'coming out' was about five years.”
The journey from male to female wasn’t easy and took years of hormones, GP visits and psychologist appointments, as well as laser, speech and gender therapy before she finally underwent gender reassignment surgery in 2016.
“I wanted genital surgery because I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, I felt sick, but you don’t just turn up and say ‘I want my bits sorted out’.”
“I was very matter of fact about it, I used to say ‘I’ll get my lady garden soon’, it softened the mood,” she said.
If you or your family is in a similar situation, support can be found by visiting these websites:
The pair have been the subject of quite a bit of hate after coming out, but say they have made more friends than they’ve lost.
"All I knew was that I felt comfortable wearing feminine clothing, there was a sense of attachment" - Kristiana Taylor
Denise, 44, said: “I got a lot of negativity, I got a lot of ‘Oooh I’ve heard about your situation’, but it makes me smile, because look at us now. We had two lists.
"One of the people we thought would be OK with it, and those who we thought wouldn’t, and they reversed themselves. It was really strange.”
Kristiana sat down with her son, Stephen, who now attends The Westlands School, when he was seven and explained what was happening, promising to still do dad things and to always be there for him.
They also gave him links to information and spent time answering any questions.
Kristiana said: “I very quickly became mum and Denise is mummy.”
Taking it in her stride, Kristiana said she now gets approached for advice by colleagues at Maidstone and Tunbridge Wells NHS Hospital Trust who may be going through similar things, saying she’s become “something of a celebrity within the trust”.
The couple also do talks on transgender issues, one of which was recently for staff at Thameside Prison in London.
Kristiana also wrote workplace policy for Canterbury Christ Church University, where she trained as a radiographer.
