Tenterden mum quits drinking after ‘humiliating’ daughter on graduation day
Published: 08:09, 31 October 2024
Updated: 12:28, 31 October 2024
By Hannah Van De Peer
A mum-of-two decided to tackle her addiction to wine after she "humiliated" her daughter on her university graduation day.
Sharnie Yorke, who lives in Tenterden, 'thought it was normal' to drink a bottle of pinot grigio wine every night - because "everyone likes a drink at the end of the day".
But she started to rely on the tipple to tackle "difficult feelings" surrounding her divorce and social anxiety.
Her daughters, aged 21 and 26, began begging her not to drink on evenings out - but she decided to kick the addiction for good after breaking her arm at her youngest daughter's graduation day.
Sharnie, who works as a healthcare support assistant, said: "The graduation was the turning point. It was a huge embarrassment - I had so much regret.
"My eldest daughter even told me she wouldn't want me looking after my grandson.
"I used to think my drinking was OK - everyone likes a drink of an evening, but not every night.
"It was clearly an addiction."
Sharnie says she was "always a big drinker" - and was raised in a family who liked to drink.
The 50-year-old says it was part of growing up and she would go out to "lots" of parties in her late teens and early twenties.
But as she got older, her love of a glass of wine at the end of the day turned into a "compulsion" to drink the entire bottle, seven days a week.
After a divorce, and her children leaving home, Sharnie says she thinks the wine "filled a void" in her life.
"The drinking probably got quite a bit worse since my daughters grew up and left home," she said.
"I started drinking pretty much every evening to fill the void.
"I went from having a couple of glasses of wine a night to a full bottle.
"I was drunk, all the time."
Sharnie didn’t like the person she became after a bottle of wine.
She’d go from "calm and personable" while sober to "bitter, loud and obnoxious".
Her daughters eventually had to beg her not to drink at social occasions - and often refused to come if they knew she'd be drinking.
"Over the last few years, drink has made me feel obnoxious," Sharnie said.
"If we'd go to a social event, my daughters would ask me not to drink too much.
"I got too drunk before a family wedding, once - so my daughters refused to attend.
"I'd become a bitter drunk - not being openly rude, more resentful of how my life turned out."
On July 15 this year Sharnie attended her youngest daughter's graduation at the University of Exeter.
Despite making it through the ceremony without a drink, she says she ended up getting "too drunk" after the family was invited to the pub.
The evening ended with Sharnie breaking her arm and being escorted from her daughter's flat by a police car.
"I remember the ride with the policeman. They said I was fine, but I’d upset my daughters…”
She said: "It was a nice day, we went for a meal after the ceremony, which was nice.
"We got back to my daughter's flat around 8pm when our friends, who were also down for the graduation, asked if we wanted to meet at the pub.
"My daughter didn't want to go - but she didn’t want me to go alone."
After drinking prosecco cocktails and glasses of wine all evening, Sharnie remembers being "loud and belligerent".
While on her way back to her daughter's flat, she fell, broke her arm and "smashed up her face".
Her daughter wouldn't let her back in the flat - and called the police and her older sister.
"I remember the ride with the policeman," Sharnie said.
"They said I was fine, but I’d upset my daughters.
"I was taken to a hotel room for the night.
"When I woke up, I was feeling very regretful."
"Not being able to see my grandson was enough for me to stop…”
Sharnie was then taken home to Tenterden by a friend - who encouraged her to go to the hospital for an x-ray on her arm.
Doctors confirmed it was broken and she'd need to rest for six weeks.
Sharine says it was the "wake-up call she needed".
"It was a huge embarrassment," she added.
"I was just mortified really - I knew [the drinking] needed to stop.
"My eldest even said she wouldn't want me looking after my grandson anymore, if things didn't change."
Sharnie has not had a drink since the day of the graduation and is 106 days sober.
She says she "didn’t need Alcoholics Anonymous" to get there.
"The thought of that night alone made me want to never drink again," she said.
"Not being able to see my grandson was enough for me to stop.
"I'm more present now - it's nice to wake up feeling fresh.
"It seems like I might be able to be sober for the rest of my life."
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