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More on KentOnline
A mum who has been fleeing domestic violence for two years says two of Kent's councils have no consideration for her children.
The woman - who wishes to remain anonymous - has been deemed 'not homeless' by Medway and Thanet because she could return to the property she lived in with her abuser.
She fled her abusive partner with her children in August 2018. She says he was violent, manipulative, and actively tried to turn her family against her, leaving her with nowhere to turn.
The mother-of-two said: "Abuse is debilitating and takes away your self esteem, your confidence. It takes a while to regain all that more than anything else.
"It felt good when I first left. I felt like I got fresh start, an empowerment kind of feeling that you get when you walk away and get your control back.
"At the moment, it doesn't feel like it was worth it."
In fear social services would take her children for living with an abuser, she could not bring herself to report the abuse to the police.
She applied to Medway Council for housing, who told her they had no responsibility to house her family as she had a property in her name with her abuser, so was deemed 'not homeless'.
She said: "I couldn't go back to that nightmare again. I would be exposed to the abuse again but it would be much worse."
She called the Domestic Violence Helpline, who helped her into a refuge in Thanet where she stayed for 11 months.
While her family was in the refuge, her oldest son who has ADHD and anxiety was finding it hard to cope and attempted to take his own life.
In July 2019, after a disagreement with another woman she was asked to leave the refuge and had to apply for housing in Thanet.
She was put in temporary accommodation in Medway and then Thanet.
Thanet District Council ruled she was 'not homeless' giving the same reasons as Medway.
They said her abuse was historic and it was safe for her to return home so she was expected to leave her temporary home quickly.
She said: "What about the hell I lived in at that house? The torment it put in my mind. Do I have to go back there and live there again?
"I just find it so cruel that they expect that from me."
In November, she appealed the decision and was given temporary accommodation in Folkestone and then sent back to Thanet, where she currently lives.
This was the fifth time the family had been moved since they left the refuge.
She said: "I had to travel with two children and my whole life in my car. Five times taking me back and forth.
"It's money I haven't got in petrol and I couldn't get my child to school, so I took my older son off roll."
Their two bedroom temporary accommodation is not suitable for their needs.
The mother-of two said: "It's small, too small. My older son was struggling to share a room with his brother.
"I've had to put my younger son in a room with me. They have a letter from the hospital saying they need their own bedroom but the council have ignored our needs.
"And when I moved in here, I had to fumigate and shampoo the carpets because there was ferret faeces in the carpet, fleas and it smelled of urine. It's been an absolute nightmare.
"One day the bath filled up with sewage and we had to wait 24 hours for help.
"The council have no consideration for my children whatsoever. Maybe they're hoping I'll go away - that's what it feels like."
It's also been difficult for her to get a job without a permanent address.
She was offered a job as a salsa dance teacher but she doesn't have the funds to pay for the training.
The 41-year-old said: "I don't have any way forward in my life. I can't progress. I can't do anything until I know where I'm going to be living.
"I have a piece inside me that I didn't have before but I'm still anxious, I still don't have a permanent outlook of where we're going to be living.
"Are we going to be sent back at the end of their decision? I don't know what's going to happen and it is the not knowing that hurts.
"It shouldn't be like this. I didn't go through the struggles to carry on suffering more in a different kind of way."
But that suffering is made easier as her youngest son continues to thrive at school despite the struggles at home.
She added: "He gives me some hope that something's come out of the situation at least."
Thanet District Council could not comment on the specific case, but a spokesman said: "Ultimately, the applicant's safety is paramount.
"There are a number of enquiries we will have to make to determine the support the person needs.
"We would need to be satisfied that it was unreasonable or unsafe for someone to return to a property.
"Where there is a perpetrator in the home who has legal rights to the property we would advise on; seeking legal advice, if it is an owned home, or obtaining a property adjustment order to remove the perpetrator from a social tenancy.
"Support might also have to be provided to the person being removed from any joint tenancy/mortgage.
"It is important that a household is not connected to two tenancies at once as they are still liable for those rent/mortgage payments.
"However, this would not necessarily prevent them from accessing social housing."
To read more about victims fleeing domestic violence being denied housing, click here
