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The man accused of drugging and killing children's author Helen Bailey had considered suicide while staying at her holiday home in Broadstairs, a court has heard.
And in footage shown to a jury earlier today Ian Stewart, 56, replied "you're joking" when he was arrested by police on suspicion of her murder.
Stewart could be seen wearing only his dressing gown as he was cautioned by officers moments after being pulled from his bed.
Asked whether he understood that he was being arrested over his fiancee's death at around 7am on July 11 last year, Stewart said: "I guess so".
Four days later, Ms Bailey's body was found in a cesspit beneath the garage of the couple's £1.5m home in Royston, Hertfordshire, alongside the body of her daschund Boris.
Stewart is accused of drugging and killing Ms Bailey to get his hands on her £4m fortune promised to him in her will.
In the footage, played at St Albans Crown Court, Stewart is taken to his bedroom to get dressed and collect his medication.
He is then heard asking officers if the garage door is open, before being taken back downstairs by police.
He shouts out to ask his son, Jamie, if he is OK, before shouting out, "I don't understand".
He then calls out and hugs Jamie, emotionally telling him to take care of himself.
The court heard how while on his way to the police station, Stewart asked officers "Have you found her?".
He was however told the investigation couldn't be discussed until he was formally interviewed.
The jury were also told how prior to his arrest, Stewart told police: "You won't find anything in the garage".
He allegedly claimed he "didn't know what good it would do" for search teams to scour the home he shared with Ms Bailey.
Giving evidence at St Albans' Crown Court Detective Constable Hollie Daines said Stewart "became upset" when they asked to search the house and "did not consent to the search taking place".
She said: "He started to ask a lot of questions, specifically what we were going to be searching for.
"Stewart said he did not consent to the search taking place. Stewart didn't seem happy about them going to the garage." - Detective Constable Hollie Daines
"He said he was getting fed up with all this now. We explained again the reasons why we wanted to search the house, and he said 'you keep saying it's the last time'.
"He became upset, his breathing increased and he began rubbing his forehead. He appeared to be anxious and uncomfortable with what we were asking of him.
"He went on to say that 'You won't find anything in the garage, if anywhere, devices will be in the house'.
"We'd spoken that searches would be conducted in the garage and the house.
"He continued to air concern about officers searching the house, saying he didn't see what good it would do.
"Stewart said he did not consent to the search taking place. Stewart didn't seem happy about them going to the garage.
"He said if 'Helen does come back, I don't want to be with her anymore'."
DC Daines told the jury that Stewart became a suspect on June 27, 2016, after he claimed to have lost his mobile phone when asked to supply it to police.
"He didn't want to give up his mobile phone at that stage," she said.
Psychiatric nurse Sarah Touhey, who assessed Stewart after he referred himself for mental health support during Helen's disappearance, also gave evidence yesterday.
She told the jury: "He said he could not remember anything and due to stress, he was having memory difficulties.
"He said his partner had been missing for 10 days and he wasn't coping. He said his partner said she was going away for a few days, but she might not have gone there.
"He also said he lost his ex-wife six years ago and he wasn't coping."
Miss Touhey said Stewart also talked about self-harming and even considered suicide while staying at Ms Bailey's holiday home in Broadstairs.
"He said he came very close to killing himself while he was there but his father had been very supportive," she said.
"He was feeling confused and unable to make decisions. He told me he had declined a police interview because he thought it would be too stressful. He said he wasn't sleeping well and was having thoughts of self harm.
"He talked how he'd been low, sitting at home alone, and wanted to end his life.
"He said he was stressed by police questioning him and his sons over the disappearance of Helen."
However, just days later, Stewart asked the psychiatric nurse whether he should go on a pre-booked holiday to Palma, Spain, without Ms Bailey.
She told the jury: "He asked if I thought he should go, but I felt that wasn't my decision to make. He sounded more jovial on this day than previously."
The trial continues.