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The father accused of murdering his child by shaking him told of the moment he dropped baby McKenzie.
Lee Vernon has admitted manslaughter and two counts of causing serious injury to McKenzie Ellis at Broadstairs in July last year. But he denies murder and two charges of inflicting GBH with intent.
Baby McKenzie died from a bleed on the brain at King's College Hospital in London having sustained 18 breaks to his ribs and 10 elsewhere.
Appearing at Maidstone Crown Court today, the 21-year-old said: "He kind of lost balance and fell onto the sofa and then onto the ground.
"He wasn't moving or anything. I presumed he was unconscious and his eyes were closed.
"I started panicking and picked him up. I put my arms under his armpits.
"I panicked and I shook him. I don't really know why. Just to get a response out of him.
Defence barrister Mr Mendelle asked: "Were you angry?"
"Yes at myself because I didn't catch him. I then bounced him round on my lap and held him tight, probably too tight."
Mr Mendelle asked who had inflicted the baby's fractured bones. Vernon wiped away the tears as he replied: "Me. I think so"
Barrister: "Did you mean to?"
"No"
"I started panicking and picked him up. I put my arms under his armpits..."
He said that he then lied to his partner and told her that enzie was just unresponsive.
"I did so because I was scared of what she might say."
Vernon told the jury that the first two weeks of enzie's life had been "normal".
"His health was good. But there came a time when he changed.
"He started drinking less. We changed his formula. He seem to becoming uncharacteristic.
"We spoke with parents and neighbours about it."
Police later examined his mobile phone and discovered someone had searched: "Have you ever hurt your child and had a meltdown?"
His barrister asked: "Who made that search on the Internet?"
Vernon replied: "Me. It was because of the marks on enzie's legs"
He said that the baby later went to hospital with Katrina and her parents.
But the keen skateboarder and BMX enthusiast went to a show in Thanet instead.
He said he didn't want the baby's bruises to be mentioned to doctors "I didn't want the hospital to think I had hurt him on purpose and social services would then have been contacted."
"I had him he was in the cradle position with my right arm. I then leaned down to reach to get the bottle..."
Vernon broke down when he was asked by his barrister: "You acknowledge that your actions are wholly to blame for your son's death?"
Vernon answered: "Yes".
Mr Mendelle asked: "Was that something you have found easy come to terms with?
Vernon:"No"
Barrister: "But you were wholly to blame?"
"Yeah"
Read more from the trial:
Weeping, Vernon told how he had been drinking and smoking cannabis the night before the incident.
When he was awoken the following morning he said he "felt grotty and tired".
He then picked up McKenzie: "I put him on the sofa and placed cushions around him while I boiled the kettle to make his bottle. I then returned.
"I had him he was in the cradle position with my right arm. I then leaned down to reach to get the bottle."
It was then he claimed the child fell.
Vernon, of Linley Road, Broadstairs, has denied murder but admitted manslaughter.
The trial continues.
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