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According to Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer, the number one thing to look for is always location, location, location. So important, you have to say it thrice.
Granted, that normally applies to buying a house, but it can equally be applied to dining out - because sometimes where you’re eating comfortably trumps what is going down the gullet - regardless of how good it is.
The Ramsgate Boating Pool, halfway down the Royal Esplanade, under blue skies and warm early summer sun is a case in point. It is, surely, one of Kent’s most picturesque and splendid seaside spots. I mean, just look at some of these pictures - if you told someone you were on the Amalfi Coast they’d believe it.
It’s also a venue which is easily overlooked given the splendour of the town’s magnificent, cafe-ringed marina just down the road where most tourists gather.
But as we arrive on a Sunday afternoon you do rather feel like you have stumbled upon something of a hidden gem. Albeit not so hidden that it isn’t doing brisk business.
The centrepiece is, of course, the large, palm tree-ringed circular boating pond (originally it was a bandstand, don’t you know) which as we visit has a handful of people piloting pedalos across its still waters. In itself, relatively unremarkable, but it is the grandeur of the two crescent pavilions - built in an Italian Renaissance style I’m reliably informed - which wrap around either side which make this place really stand out.
And, if the Grade II-listed site wasn’t already ticking plenty of aesthetically pleasing boxes, the sparkling blue of the sea over the cliff-top on which it is perched shimmers to provide the icing on the cake.
On one side is housed a bar - which among other delights, sells Northdown Brewery beer, which previous experience has proved is always worth trying. Sadly, on this occasion, I’m driving so I steer clear.
On the other, is a cafe full of all-day breakfasts, burgers and the like. There’s some seating (the weather is simply too nice for them to be used today) and a long counter with two friendly members of staff taking orders.
But to the left is a pizza counter - and that is what we have come to experience today. If this place takes its architectural influence from Italy, I feel I ought to follow suit when it comes to a bite to eat. After all, who knows, perhaps the Roman gods will, later that afternoon, repay me by contriving to allow Arsenal to lift the Premier League title.
We order two - the classic Napoli with anchovies, capers and olives - and the, ahem, Horny Goat, which as you can probably guess is one where goat’s cheese takes centre stage.
Charged £26 for the pair, I’m handed a buzzer, buy a couple of Diet Cokes (£2 each) on my way out and go and perch on a free table outside.
The place is busy but not packed and seating is easily secured. Almost every age is represented here - older folk (of which I assume I must now consider myself one), young parents and lots of young children. Many of whom make a beeline to look into the unprotected boating pond pursued swiftly by anxious-looking parents.
The crowds are swollen not long after when an open-top bus pulls in and empties its passengers our way.
But the atmosphere is pleasing and everyone is clearly delighted to be outside and not having to wear the raincoat and extra layers we’ve got so used to.
We don’t have long to wait until the buzzer goes off like a firecracker and I pop in to pick up two boxed pizzas.
Now, dear reader, I’m not going to insult either of us by going into great lengths as to the quality of said pizzas. Suffice it to say, these are your traditional, thin-crust, freshly-made variety.
The Napoli is, I’m going to be honest, perhaps a little light on anchovies (they are both small and sparse) but when you do get one of the salty little fellows they are delicious and elevate the richness of the tomato. They’d run out of black olives, but the green ones are, frankly, tastier and add a subtle tang.
The Horny Goat’s triumph is its onion which gives the pizza a kick up the backside.
Are they the greatest pizzas I’ve ever tasted? No. They are not. Are they very nice and justify the price-tag? Yes, they do on both counts.
On my return home, I’ve subsequently read some pretty miserable reviews of the other food available here on Tripadvisor - so if in doubt, I’d heartily recommend you do as the Italians.
Oh, and despite my purchasing of their most famous export, those Roman gods didn’t appear to lift a finger to deliver the title to North London. Poor show.
Out of five:
Food: The pizzas were generous, the taste good, the dough just as it should be. ****
Drink: We could have been more adventurous and I can vouch that any Northdown Brewery beer is a delight. But, on this visit, it was just a Diet Coke. And, let’s be honest, they all taste identical. ****
Decor: If you get blue skies and sunshine, I challenge anywhere to look more beautiful in Kent. Inside, the buildings are functional and well laid out *****
Staff: Friendly efficient staff at all stages of the process *****
Price: Frankly, £28 for two good quality pizzas and drinks while sat amid such a lovely backdrop is cheap at half the price ****