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A Kent-born athlete has spoken out about her battle with loneliness and depression while serving in the army.
Dame Kelly Holmes - who grew up in Tonbridge - says she had a 'massive breakdown' in 2003, which led her to self-harm.
It comes after new statistics released by Armed Forces charity SSAFA reveal that almost a quarter of polled service personnel are experiencing loneliness in the lead up to Christmas.
The Olympic gold medallist said there were often times throughout her military and athletics career that she spent Christmas alone.
"Whilst I was in the British Army, I was also training for the Olympics and heavily involved in athletics. There were moments where I would find myself all alone in my barracks, struggling with my emotions on my own and trying to find an escape", said the 49-year-old.
"In 2003, a year before Athens Olympic Games, I had a massive breakdown to the point where I hated myself and I didn't want to be here.
"I was in a really bad place. I was having a breakdown and I was depressed.
"When half of you is dying, and half of you is trying to live - because actually you know you can be good at something still, you have to fight and battle through that.
"There is help out there, there is always someone that will listen to you, you've just got to have it within you to ask for it."
According to survey by SSAFA, 68% of those in the military said they felt lonelier than usual at Christmas, with more than two thirds spending it alone.
It also found that almost two in ten people spend Christmas on their own each year.
A quarter of young people (aged 16 to 35) who were surveyed also reported feeling lonely in the last week, compared to 14% of over 55s.
"When half of you is dying, and half of you is trying to live - because actually you know you can be good at something still, you have to fight and battle through that..." Dame Kelly Holmes
Bill Grant, forcesline manager at SSAFA said: "There’s a perception that the elderly are the most lonely group in society, but in reality isolation affects many of us.
"We can all feel alone, and Christmas can make this feel worse. Reaching out could be a daunting but life-changing first step.
“For the forces community, I hear first-hand that this can be a difficult time. Whether deployed and away from home, or just struggling to adjust to civilian life, loneliness and isolation can hit those serving and their families, of all backgrounds.
“We want to encourage people to reach out to those who may be experiencing feelings of isolation at Christmas – a simple gesture can be all that it takes."
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