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A husband who tried to murder his wife as she lay in bed has told a judge he still loves her.
Shaun May, from Station Road, Aylesford, was suffering from a personality disorder when he forced teacher Laura to undergo a bizarre ritual before plunging a knife in her neck in Tunbridge Wells.
Now the 34-year-old office manager has been jailed for 13-and-a-half years after a jury at Maidstone Crown Court convicted him of attempted murder.
Three psychiatrists have examined May but couldn't find a motive for the attack from a man who had shown no violence during their six year relationship.
She told the court in an impact statement read by the prosecutor: "This has affected me deeply. My life is not the same. I am not the same. I don't think I ever will be."
Mrs May revealed how for three months she was unable to work or live in the family home - and now feels she is now "merely existing".
"The impact of what happened on those around me has been heartbreaking. To see my father and my brother who lives in South Korea, cry has been some of the worst moments of my life.
"There was no abuse in this relationship... which makes what happened all the more shocking" - judge Philip St John-Stevens
"I believe that when you get married it is for life but the seriousness and completely unpredictable nature of the incident means I cannot trust Shaun entirely any more. I cannot remain married to him even though my feelings for him have not gone."
She added: "This event has completely changed my life. I feel that my life has stopped. We were meant to spend the rest of our lives together, have children together."
Days before the stabbing he had been sacked for stealing from his bosses - but didn't have the courage to confess to his wife.
Instead he made her lie on the bed at their home and put a tea towel over her face promising her she was about to receive a gift.
Then he began to count down from 10 but never got to zero.
Instead of the gift, he plunged a knife into her neck and shoulder before later driving her to hospital for the wound to be treated.
May, dressed in a black suit and grey tie, sat with his head down in the dock.
He nodded towards the judge when he heard the sentence, turned and walked to the cells.
Mrs May, who needed nine stitches in two wounds, has revealed she has now started divorce proceedings.
In the days prior to the incident, the couple - who were married 14 months earlier - had returned from a happy holiday in Korea.
Prosecutor Robin Griffiths said: "As far as Mrs May was concerned it was a good relationship and she could not remember them ever having an argument before.
"What happened that morning was totally unexpected."
Judge Philip St John-Stevens said Mrs May had been placed on a pedestal by her husband who "still loves her"
Mrs May said in a statement read to court, that her only concern after the stabbing was the safety of her husband who had held two knives against his stomach.
The judge said whether of not that was a genuine suicide attempt "only you will know".
"But what is clear is that there was no abuse in this relationship, no violence, no raised words..which makes what happened all the more shocking."
The prosecution had revealed how May plunged the kitchen knife through her neck, narrowly missing vital arteries, before pointing a knife at his stomach saying he was going to kill himself.
May later told her he had been fired from his job the day before over financial irregularities and he didn't know how they would be able to pay their mortgage.
Investigating officer, police constable Mark Beeching said: "May acted in a cold, callous and violent manner on that morning.
"The assault with a knife could have easily had fatal consequences and will no doubt have a long-lasting and profound effect on the victim.
"I would like to commend the victim for her assistance throughout the investigation and trial."
