More on KentOnline
More on KentOnline
Panto's all about tradition and the worse jokes are, the better. To celebrate the start of the season, we've rounded up some of this year's top jokes from some of the county's pantos (without any plot show spoilers). Get ready to groan!
Dick Whittington and his cat stars Ray Quinn, Joe Tracini and Ian Good as Sarah the Cook.
1. Sarah the Cook is single and looking for love – but it wasn’t always so. Her first husband died - he drowned in a large jar of coffee – an unusual death but at least it was instant!
2. Sarah the Cook has been trying to lose weight and is doing rather well – she lost 300 calories yesterday … a seagull stole her Mars bar.
3. Why is the sea so angry? You’d be angry too if you had crabs all over your bottom.
The show runs from Friday, December 7 to New Year's Eve. Book tickets at medwayticketslive.co.uk or call 01634 338338.
Wicked Productions bring Jack and the Beanstalk to the theatre from Saturday, December 15 to Sunday, January 6, 2019. Book at emftheatre.com or call 01732 304241.
These are some of the animals that Dame Trott has on her farm:
1. There’s Penelope the pony who has a sore throat. Well, she’s a little hoarse.
2. She’s currently dating Denis the donkey - it’s a stable relationship.
3. And there’s a duck who keeps stealing wallets out of pockets - he’s a Robber Ducky.
It’s alright though because the cat ate him... so now the cat is a Duck-Filled-Fatty-Puss.
Wicked Productions bring Peter Pan to the theatre in Gravesend from Friday, December 7 to New Year's Day, starring Jamie Paul 'JJ' Hamblett, from boy band Union J, Robert Pearce as pirate dame Mrs Smee and Rob Cummings as Captain Hook. Book at woodville.co.uk or call 08442 439 480.
The Dame, Mrs Smee:
1. "This is my Brexit dress. Everyone wants me out of it, but once it happens they're not so sure."
2. "I'm off for a bath of milk.”
“Pasteurised?”
“No, just up to here."
3. "You'll be at the boot of Davy Jones' Locker.”
“Right-o.”
“Do you understand?”
“Right-o.”
“Why do you keep saying right-o?”
“Because you're standing on my right toe!"
Cinderella, starring Birds of a Feather star Lesley Joseph,will be staged by Qdos Entertainment from Saturday, December 1 to Sunday, December 30. Book at churchilltheatre.co.uk or call 020 8290 8210.
1. Name six animals in the jungle: Five elephants and a giraffe.
2. What is the Capital of Poland?
Answer: P.
3. Name two days of the week beginning with T?
Answer: Today and tomorrow
