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I'm that person in restaurants.
You know the one - I know the menu off by heart before stepping through the door and then I'm already studying other peoples' plates coming out, brow furrowed, desperate to check I've made the right choice.
The spectre that haunts me when eating out? The fear of food envy.
We've all been there - when Sandra's waxing lyrical about her slow-cooked lamb shanks and you're staring down at a limp Caesar salad, wondering how you'd been suckered in by the promise of croutons done three ways.
So you can imagine my delight as I'm talked through the menu at Number 8 and hear they recommend ordering three to four dishes per person - the law of probabilities is firmly on my side here.
And then the suggestion of sharing - too bad Sandra, budge up.
The restaurant and bar, which launched in the former Prezzo in London Road, Sevenoaks last month, is the brainchild of chef Stuart Gillies and his wife Cecilia and runs along a tapas-style concept.
Perfect. Tapas, along with the siesta, is a Spanish import I'm desperate to see us Brits fully embrace.
All of the options, none of the FOMO, and stealing from your fellow diners is merely waved aside as being Continental.
Though having looked up a few online reviews for Stuart's other, similarly-conceived (and highly-rated) restaurant, Bank House, in Chislehurst, it seems it's not a concept always entirely understood this side of the Channel. One customer fumes that the dishes come out at different times while another rails against the tiny portions. Well, yes.
And I think it's in our English DNA to not be entirely comfortable if, after 90 minutes, the waiting staff don't start eyeing you suspiciously as if you're considering going for squatter's rights, and guilt you into asking for the bill by starting to refresh the linen around you while you're trying to chug down your caffe latte.
But there's certainly no such 'sit down, eat, get out' vibe here. The atmosphere is much more European - totally relaxed, the staff warm and friendly and the pace blissfully unhurried. This is the kind of foodie paradise you can easily lose yourself in for an entire evening.
So where to start with the menu? Well, there are no starters per se, just smaller and larger plates, using seasonal, locally-sourced produce.
Stuart draws inspiration from his travels to locations such as Stockholm, Rome, New York and London, where he has worked with some of the biggest names in the industry. Gordon Ramsay, anyone?
First to arrive are our padron peppers, chorizo with honey, pickled anchovies with herb salsa and warm artichoke salad, which are paired with a Sauvignon de Touraine from the Loire Valley.
I've been known to force my family to make an hour round-trip for what I consider to be the best anchovies in Spain, so I can give these no greater compliment that to say they're on a par - probably just edging it if you take into account the relative carbon footprints and queues at passport control.
The star though was the salad, which, topped with truffle and creme fraiche dressing, was rich and luxurious - and not a crouton in sight.
I didn't get to try the wild mushroom, mashed potato and poached egg, as it seems the idea of sharing had flitted briefly as the larger plates arrived, but there was no food envy here - my pan fried Scottish salmon with cauliflower puree and caper and raisin dressing was exquisite. Sweet and earthy, and beautifully balanced.
Then for dessert.
Now if I was to choose a Mastermind specialist subject, I think it would be sticky toffee pudding, I've had so many.
It's the first thing I look for on a menu - in fact I've turned down perfectly lovely-looking gastropubs purely for the sin of not featuring one.
'No, I don't want to hear about your list of artisanal fruit sorbets, I just want to cancel my reservation, please.'
Given the anticipation, I was ready to be disappointed - but that only came from the fact that the 'sharing' had, by all accounts, restarted at this point.
It was gooey, indulgent, and, as with the rest of the meal, had a little Number 8 flourish with a crunchy granola-style topping crowning a dollop of cold vanilla ice cream.
The chocolate mousse with raspberry and a ginger biscuit was another textural triumph.
This quaint spot in the centre of Sevenoaks has certainly come a long way since it was pumping out pizzas as Prezzo.
As well as a beautifully presented and executed menu, Stuart's team has lovingly re-imagined the 16th century building with solid oak flooring, plush banquet seating and a raised marble-topped bar.
The only thing occasionally wrenching me back from letting my mind wander from eating anchovies at that tasca on the seafront in Arrecife was the occasional jarring 90s pop ballad, and the lack of more ambient lighting. Then again, I was probably more acutely aware of the brightly-lit interior given I'd done my make-up in the car.
But you'd certainly never have guessed from the feel of the place, and the nearly full dining room, that this was a drizzly Wednesday night in Kent.
It's a touch of class to Sevenoaks High Street. Stuart explains he and Cecilia dismissed any fancy, too clever for their own good, restaurant names and opted for the simplicity of Number 8, as it is the postal address: 8 London Road.
And in much the same way he's done that with the food too - nothing is contrived. It is uncomplicated and effortlessly stylish.
It just speaks for itself.
You don't often say this when you've just ordered nearly a dozen dishes at a restaurant, but I already can't wait to go back to try the others.
Number 8 is open Wednesdays to Sundays, 11am - 11pm. For more, and to book, click here.