Birchington is, and I say this with great affection, a rather odd little place at times.

A handful of minutes drive from Margate, the Thanet village is hard to beat when it comes to facilities - there's a butcher, bakers and I wouldn't be hugely surprised if a candlestick maker lurks along Station Road - its main high street.

With a laundrette and choice of pet shops, it is a throwback to a previous era - which no doubt fuels its reputation as being the resort of choice for the pensioner.

In short, it is perfectly self-contained. It has more convenience stores than you really need, a splattering of pubs and during the pandemic showed a remarkable community spirit as residents and retailers alike pulled together to help each other.

One of it's perennially popular destinations is the Village Square Café - offering, er, panoramic views of the village's main roundabout. A perfect choice for today's Eat My Words review, then.

It is something of an experience.

The decor is, and this may surprise you, heavily drawn from The Godfather. There are images from the movie on all four walls; a chilling quote about vengeance from Don Corleone stares down at diners from one corner, while even the café's logo on its menu is a copyright-infringing homage to the classic flick.

It's not all Marlon Brando though. There's a sprinkle of Pulp Fiction and, given its clear Americana theme, a Marilyn Monroe in there too.

This is not, judging by the wall art, the sort of place you want to try and flee while not paying. A horse's head would, surely, be in your bed by sun-up.

It is, however, on a freezing cold weekday morning, doing steady business. It's warm, it's friendly, and while the decor is undeniably garish - the extensive, colourful menu covers each table - there's no denying it gives the hungry or thirsty visitor all the information they need the moment they take a seat. Functionality is key here.

Unbelievably, given the temperature, there are folk sat outside watching the world go by. The good people of Birchington are clearly hardy souls. I wonder if they're attracted to 'today's special' - a cheese omelette, chips and beans and, ahem, trifle. One assumes not all on the same plate, but yours for £6.10.

As a soundtrack of 1960s American pop (natch) plays overhead, I peruse the table top.

The choice is extensive - from stacks of pancakes to milkshakes, burgers to roast dinners, this is very much a one-stop shop.

It's early though, so I opt for the vegetarian breakfast.

You cannot, it should be said, argue with the price. For £7.55 you get a full breakfast, large mug of coffee and two slices of buttered toast. Good job I'm hungry (and carrying cash, as this place doesn't take those new-fangled debit cards).

The clientele is old folk and young mums - at least one of which has, on my visit, a noisy child. I wonder what Don Corleone would do if he were sat here while they screeched around him? He would, almost certainly, make them an offer they couldn't refuse.

With little delay, the coffee arrives, followed moments later by the breakfast.

Now, on first look, I'm going to say certain elements of this breakfast have sat under a hot plate out back for a little while. They have that look. Which, frankly, I'm not too fussed about. What harm would it bring a hash brown, anyway? The big question is, does this brekkie deliver on the all-important taste?

And the good news is that yes, it most definitely does.

I'm not going to patronise you by trying to wax lyrical over some buttered toast or milky coffee, suffice to say it was exactly as you would expect. And that is absolutely no criticism.

This is not Michelin-starred stuff by any stretch of the imagination - the fried egg looks a tad small and as if cooked in a frying pan which has seen some action. But does the yoke break with a a vibrant yellow as you would hope for? Of course it does.

The sausage is one of those which disintegrate the moment you cut into it and an old school vegetable stuffed one rather than the meat-like ones which sate the appetite of a vegetarian who misses the classic pork banger. But it's tasty and when stuffed on a fork with some beans and mushrooms, goes down very well.

Look, this café isn't going to find itself on any Good Food guides any time soon - there's no finesse, no delicate touches. But that's not what it's designed to do. It's here to serve a local community who like the classics, served up in a safe and welcoming environment.

If you find yourself in Birchington I heartily recommend a visit. And remember, The Godfather is watching.

Out of five:

Food: A traditional breakfast, lots of it, and competitively priced. It's not gourmet stuff, but you wouldn't expect it to be. ****

Drink: The coffee was a little too milky, but let's not be too critical of that. ***

Decor: How many village cafés use a mafia movie as its theme, I wonder? But it does make it memorable. Weird, but memorable. Otherwise, it's a no frills, classic café setting. ***

Staff: Service was prompt and the chap taking my order friendly. ****

Price: Given the squeeze on our spending, buying decent food at a decent price is to be applauded. Everything here and ample change from a tenner is a good deal. ****